Congratulations on Proving Your Specious Claims!

Today you’re going to go into a room filled with skeptical parents and prove, once and for all, that listening to sweet ass guitar solos does, in fact, make kids totally awesome.

The head parent, who will be named something stupid like Chet or Gary or some shit like that, will totally think you’re full of it.

“Mister!” he’ll shout at you as the other parents chatter away.  “You’re full of it!”

You’ll nod at him.

“I hear ya brother.  But listen to this.”

One wicked guitar solo later his boring sweatervest will have transformed into a bitchin’ Hawaiian shirt and his moustache will have flown off his face.  A pair of sweet ass sunglasses will have materialized on the bridge of his nose.  His khaki pants will have been replaced by – you guessed it! – cargo shorts.

“Bitchin’!” he’ll shout.  Then his son will run in and hug him.

“I love you now, daddy.”

This will get all the other parents on board with your somewhat ill fated and entirely poorly planned boarding school called, pending a lawsuit from the estate of Jack Black, the “School of Rock.”

Congratulations on Proving Your Specious Claims!