Congratulations on Finding a Way More Practical Use for a Golf Club!

You’re a loan shark and today you’re going to try to collect money from a wealthy dude while he’s playing golf.

“This game is fucking retarded!” you’ll tell your partner as he shakes down the wealthy dude.

“Yeah!” your partner will shout, passing you one of the strange metal clubs that the wealthy dude was using to play his stupid little faggot game.

“It’s quite nuanced,” the wealthy dude will say, his upper lip quivering while he speaks. You’ll know that means he’s scared, which means it’s time to do your job.

“You ah!” you’ll shout at the wealthy dude as you strike out with the metal club at his legs. He’ll shriek in pain and collapse as you strike him, falling to the ground. At this point your sociopath training will kick in and you’ll follow through, viciously beating the wealthy dude until he loses consciousness.

“That seemed pretty good,” your partner will say. You’ll nod, looking approvingly at the wealthy dude’s club. Then you’ll notice he had a whole fucking bag of them just sitting next to him, big metal clubs he never even thought to use to defend himself.

“Fucking score!” you’ll say, offering up your hand to your partner to high five. He’ll slap your palm and the two of you will leave the golf course carrying the new implements of your trade, which you’ll call faggywackers, a slightly gayer name than the one most people use.

Congratulations on Finding a Way More Practical Use for a Golf Club!