Congratulations Less Important Ajax!

Today you’re the less important Ajax.

Remember how Ajax was a big figure in the Trojan war who fought for years against the Trojans and was generally a badass? Remember how a dude with the same name who was way less important died in obscurity early in the war when Achilles cut him open like a pig?

You’re that Ajax. Today you’re living out your own death in the Greek afterlife.

We know what you’re thinking. Shouldn’t you be in the heroic part of the Greek underworld?

Not really. You were kind of a shit in general in life. You argued for no reason, you never supported anyone worth half a shit. You mostly just tried to kill people with huge spears and shout your name really loud in the hope that people would think you were the important Ajax and try to fuck you.

It rarely worked.

So tonight we hope that as you live through your own death for the umpteenth time you find some measure of peace as you realize, once and for all, how terrible you are and how much you deserve your own punishment. Because honestly, if you accept it you just might be able to leave. And then we can stop feeling sorry for you.

Congratulations Less Important Ajax!