Congratulations on Getting Them to Come to Your Museum!

When you announced your plan to open a Right-wing specific museum that aimed at reconstructing history in a way that presented the achievements of Ronald Regan as sacrosanct bulwarks of democracy against the forces of "foreign aggression," people didn't anyone would show up.  Right-wing politicos traditionally aren't big on things like "learning" and "understanding the world," and the Left-wing queermos that watch NPR while sipping mimosas and blowing each other tend to enjoy hearing about Regan about as much as they enjoy being out by their aunts at Thanksgiving.

Getting funding was, as such, pretty tough.  You had to turn to the perennially unthanked and perpetually miserable guardians of liberty and information, the ACLU, to get a loan to make "an honest Regan museum which would portray Regan in a genuine light without casting aspersions on his late-term impeachable offenses."  In exchange for signing on to fund the project they retained oversight over the exhibits, including veto power over what you might choose to not include.  That meant no denying that Regan sold arms overseas and realistically portraying Gorbachev's decision to dismantle the Berlin wall and open Russia up to the world, which left little room for lionizing President Regan in a way that present day Republicans would appreciate - your Medicaid expansion exhibit isn't likely to garner a whole lot of support.

So instead you compromised, and made an entire wing about Regan in movies with monkeys.  "Regan supported the troops and combatted the Nazis as no one else could:" the wing announces in a plaque that no one will ever read, "by entertaining the world with literal monkey business and also a bunch of movies where he pretended to be a pilot."

Liberals will be excited by the fact that you're honestly portraying the presidency of one of the most mythologized figures in modern politics, a man whose accomplishments are constantly revised on both sides of the aisles.  Republicans will enjoy learning that Ronald Regan was once a successful actor.  The museum will, as of today, opening day, be a huge hit.  Enjoy all the money that those fucking dickheads in the ACLU will be giving you as part of a "bonus settlement."  The rest they'll use to reluctantly defend white supremacists throughout the American Southwest as they attempt to create "Neo-Nazi Day Care Volunteer Centers" in a tremendously ill-fated attempt to appear more community oriented.

Congratulations on Getting Them to Come to Your Museum!