Congratulations Wonder Dog!

We love animals that do heroic things, and you, wonder dog, are truly a heroic animal because today you're going to rescue the family you live with from a fire.  This will require you running in and out of a burning building seven times and, to save the last family member, the baby, Chartruse (it may have been better to let her burn, fyi) you're going to leap out of a window at the moment a back draft makes it explode.  It'll all look very heroic, which will be great for the first few hours, but after a brief investigation of the wreckage of the home the police will draw the obvious conclusion, the only conclusion they could draw from all the facts: the fire was, in fact, an arson.  What's more, it was an arson started by a dog.

The police investigation will lead back to you within a matter of hours.  You'll be taken into custody and put on trial within weeks.  While your heroic actions during the fire will be mentioned during the trial, they won't be enough to sway the judge, who will be ready to send you to dog hell until your defense attorney pulls a hail mary last minute legal play and brings up that there's no law on the books that says a dog can't commit arson.

The judge will grudgingly admit that that is in fact true, and will declare a mistrial, alleviating you of all charges and freeing you up to try and kill again.  Be sure you do it quick, though!  Anti-dog-arson legislation is already in the works, and if you don't do something soon it will, in fact, be illegal for you to burn down a building.  So go on, burn it down boy!  Who's a bad dog?  You are!  You are!  That's a good bad dog!  Yes!

Congratulations Wonder Dog!