Congratulations Sexy Giraffe!

We see you there, craning that neck upward to pull a mouthful of leaves into your teeth so you can chew them ever so harshly until they're a paste that you form into a bolus that, in turn, will travel down your esophagus to your stomach where it will become part of a nutrient slurry that will travel into your colon before it plops on to the ground in a steaming pile, shockingly well formed considering the two and a half meter drop it'll take.  We see you there and we like what we see and what want you to know we like what we see.

Is it a little creepy for people, people like us, to stare at you while you do these things?  Maybe.  It's definitely creepy that we're as turned on as we are.  But, voyeurs of time and space that we are, we're not overly concerned with things like "being total creepers" or "making you feel uncomfortable."

We are concerned with congratulating you for being the sexiest ungulate we've seen in quite a while.  That slender neck, those long legs...  We'd keep on talking, but we've made ourselves a bit too excited with all these comments about your exotic form, so we're going to go deal with something discreetly if you don't mind.  And we know you don't, because you're a giraffe, and you don't judge other animals for masturbating furiously around you, which is just another reason we find you so god damn appealing.

Congratulations Sexy Giraffe!