Congratulations Super Offensive X-Man!

Back in the 70s, there were some pretty offensive X-Men.  Hippylocks was a dirty hippy who could immobilize foes with her body odor.  Racist Man could become really racist against any group of people and, channeling that power, exert authority over those peoples based on his whiteness.  Jewey Mc Jew Jew could do taxes super well.  But all of these heroes, offensive as they were, existed in a different time, and were really only offensive against one group of people, or one group of people at a time, in the case of Racist Man.

You, on the other hand, are offensive to a whole bunch of people.  You're a brand new X-Man, named Twist, and, starting today, you're going to upset comic book fans almost as much as anything Brian Michael Bendis has ever done.

See, your powers involve being really gay, and making other people think gay thoughts just by being in a room.  The first issue you appear in will involve you outing Gambit, and making Wolverine bi-curious.  Sales will drop tremendously, but Bendis, will insist on pressing forward, shouting "This is important!" at anyone who tries to talk him out of it over and over and over again.

You'll upset both gay rights groups, who will be offended by just about every element of your charater, and anti-gay groups, who will feel threatened that you, despite your overarching offensiveness, are uniformly accepted by the other X-Men, the same way people are generally accepting of that one insanely self-consciously gay friend who seems to be just trying to find him or herself.  In fact, many of your later storylines will focus on you realizing that no one really cares that you're gay, and that you're alright just the way you are.  Once these resolve, you'll be killed by Magneto when he crushes you with a giant girder, in what Marvel will broadly advertise as "the event that fans have been waiting for."  Gay rights groups will protest the issue a little, but they won't try very hard.  Their hearts won't be in it; you're a very annoying character.

Congratulations Super Offensive X-Man!