Going to college is exciting in every way. It's kind of scary, because it means things
will never be the same again. It's kind
of sexy because it involves sexy stuff happening. It's kind of dangerous, because it involves
being in a place you've never been before and, more often than not, moving away
from the places you feel safe. So it's
totally normal for you to feel nervous about going to college, but just so you
know, you're going to do just great there.
See, you're a rare strain of Chlamydia that transfers rapidly from host to host and over the next few weeks, you're going to be the single most popular entity in the entire dorm. You'll come to town in one ex-cheerleader, but within a week you'll be close to nearly half of the male population of your dorm. A week after that you'll be quite familiar with nearly a quarter of the female population. From there, you'll go through some peaks and valleys until finally things settle down for you and you end up with a small, close knit group of friends who refuse to use condoms or go to the doctor when their genitals start itching violently. Because as smart as kids in college can be, there's really no limit to the stupidity you'll find on a college campus.
Congratulations Rampant Disease!
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