Congratulations Sex Addict!

The DSM-5 doesn't think sex addiction is a real thing, but entitled white folk the world over know the truth: sometimes you want to have sex with frequency that is considered, for the most part, socially unacceptable, and have greater issues with impulse control that manifest themselves primarily through a sexual throughput.

So what's an entitled person with no self-control to do about their sex life, which has gone from being "sexy and fun" to "spiraling out of control in a way that will ruin you sooner than later?"

Well, you've got options, like therapy, or learning some fucking self-control, or a bunch of other stuff you absolutely won't even really consider, because today you're going to do what you always do and take the path of least resistance: removing your genitals using a hot knife.

Your physician and two of your three lawyers will advise you not to do so, stating that "It is ill advised for Mister LeBeouf to act in this manner and we will not condone or be complicit to any such actions as those that have been summarily suggested to us thus far" in a collective letter to your last remaining lawyer.

You'll post this letter on the wall as you heat the knife and then, while wearing a bag over your head, cut off your own dick on camera.  The footage will later be posted to Youtube, where it will be thoroughly "liked" by viewers.  You, on the other hand, will still feel feelings of desire, but without a dick, you'll find yourself trapped in an internal hellscape of perpetual unfulfilment, wherein you can never actually find satisfaction for your constant urges.  Since you never learned how to deal with your feelings without externally expressing them, this will be a pretty fucking serious problem, but not as serious as the fact that you cut your dick off with a hot knife in an incredibly misguided play for attention and social value.

Congratulations Sex Addict!