It was tough, crawling out of that pit, or "rabbit
hole" as you therapist makes you call it, and then eking out a living as a
stripper on the midwestern circuits before you made your way to LA and tried
working in porn there. For a while, you
made a decent living in porn, but then you started to get into the parties and
the lifestyle started to take over and before long you found yourself broke
again, on the skids, with no prospects, despite your celebrity.
Today, however, you're turning all of that around, because
today you're taking your life back.
Today you open your Etsy store.
Your Etsy store, called "Alice by Alice," will
consist of "authentic Alice in Wonderland merchandise from the girl
herself." It'll consist mostly of
poorly knitted scarves and bad quilts, and within a few weeks, it will be the
toast of the internet.
"Three and a half stars - decent quality product,
reasonable delivery time," hudsonsucker47 will rave!
"Corrected mistakes on order quickly and politely -
overall pleasant experience and reasonable price, if a little bit slow,"
markym4rk will exclaim!
These reviews, paired with a burgeoning bipolar disorder
that will have, at this point, have gone untreated for almost a decade, will
propel you into a manic high that will last for about half of this week! Next week, you'll hit the lowest low in your
entire life, when someone who orders one of your products tells you that you
shipped them the wrong one, but that nadir will, in the end, not destroy your
business. It will, however, cause you to
destroy your laptop in a fit of childish rage.
Congratulations Adult Alice in Wonderland!
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