Saturday, August 31, 2013

Congratulations Slutty Diplomat!



North Korea hasn’t really been pulling its weight on the world stage for a long time.  Sure, they’ve been acting as a sort of global focal point, allowing people to agree that the crazy person at the end of the bar is a pretty big fucker, but they haven’t really been “making the world more peaceful” or “encouraging people to work together” in any real manner.

Today you’re going to fix all that.  You are North Korea’s first female diplomat, and you, in an attempt to alter the course of history, are going to let everyone at the U.N. fuck you.

“This doesn’t seem like a very good plan,” keen minded readers might announce to their screen.

“Well,” you’d reply, just before flashing your cooch at said readers in order to deflect their attention, much as you’ll be deflecting the attention of U.N. negotiators away from their petty bickering and into one of the less visually pleasing gangbangs in human history.

In two weeks, the polish will wear off your weird sluttiness, but for two weeks you’ll have the U.N. united around trying to bang you, so during that time we hope that you get some arms treaties and aid plans worked out.  We’d also recommend getting a lot of bottled water – people tend to need that during lengthy orgies and/or long form negotiations.

Congratulations Slutty Diplomat!

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