Today you and your friends are going to sit down on a set of chairs made out of thirty packs of Miller High Life. They’ll be thrones, really. Glorious seats for beggar kings, men without peer or fear. You’ll look at each other, look to the stack of board games, candles and Sun Chips arrayed before you and share a nod. Then you’ll begin.
It might seem implausible that people could live off of beer and snack foods for so long. In fact, it might seem completely absurd that anyone would ever try. But each time one of your wives dies under mysterious circumstances you all gather here in this abandoned warehouse to sit and drink and reflect on life and play a bunch of awesome board games. It’s something you all agreed to when you became writers, an accepted, shared reality. Wives die, and time must be taken to reflect.
So here you sit today, surrounded by the leavings of former lives. Discarded beer boxes, scattered cans from years past and crumbs dating back to the time before George W. Bush. No one will speak, but someone, perhaps Greg, will open the can with a crack and a hiss and the process will begin.
In a week you’ll go back to your jobs. Three of you will return to our offices and continue making dubious predictions. The rest of you will go back to temping in various office settings with your own special degrees of dissatisfaction with life. Hopefully no one will need to be back here soon, since the remaining members of The Circle are pretty happy with their marriages. But you’ll all be ready to answer the call with at least a week’s worth of sick time stored up and a doctor’s note to back it up. Not that anyone at our office needs to use sick time. We know how it is.
Just take your time, make your peace, and enjoy your week of cathartic binge drinking.
Congratulations on Your Week of Binge Drinking!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment