Congratulations on Dropping the Ball!

This isn’t one of those literalist posts where we talk about you dropping a ball that triggers a series of nuclear explosions that cascade across the country and summarily rip the nation to shreds. No, this post is about you forgetting to give your daughter her insulin injection early this morning.

“I didn’t ask for her to have diabetes!” you’ll shout at your wife over the police officers restraining you. She won’t respond, so you’ll shout it again louder, but still, nothing.

As the police drag you to their cruiser you’ll keep shouting, but by then your wife will already be inside the hospital and you’ll have a long, quiet drive to the police station where you’ll be officially charged with criminal negligence and held there until your wife has a chance to help out with your processing.

In retrospect, you probably should’ve cleaned up your act before marrying the assistant DA and having a kid with her, but huffing is hard to quit and nobody’s perfect, so don’t beat yourself up too much over the whole thing.

Congratulations on Dropping the Ball!