Congratulations on Being the Most Awesome Lesbian in the Tri-State Area!

Today you’re a New Jersey based mother of three (two natural children, one from each of you, and one adopted child) who has been living with the same partner for roughly fifteen years. The two of you have been through hell and high water together. You volunteer at a local women’s shelter and an organic grocery co-op, you own a plot on a shared garden that you tend three times a week while listening to old Liz Phair. You’re pretty great, it’s true. But you could be better.

As of today that will no longer be true.

Today you’re going to drive your partner, blindfolded, into New York City. You’re going to walk her up to the steps of an aging brownstone that you purchased as a surprise for her. When you take the blindfold off she’ll be speechless.

“Oh my god,” she’ll mumble.

You’ll nod at her. “I know it’s a big step to do on my own. And the sale isn’t final. But we’ve talked about moving in town for a long time, and we finally can.”

She’ll have tears welling in her eyes. She’ll know what’s coming, but she’ll let you keep going anyway. She always was great that way.

“There’s a community garden we could get a plot in. I had to pay an arm and a leg to do it, but I managed to get us on a priority listing. And the schools are as good as they can be.” You’ll finish with a shrug before turning around and striding back to the car. Then you’ll open the door and lean over, into the glove box, where you’ll remove a blank piece of paperwork.

You’ll put it in her hands and smile.

“Then there’s this.”

She’ll choke out a sob as she leaps over to embrace you, tears welling out of her eyes and catching in your hair. You’ll stroke the back of her head and whisper into her ear.

“Will you marry me?”

She’ll nod, her chin awkwardly catching your shoulder as the blank license rubs into your back. You’ll want to pull her back, look into her eyes and kiss her, but you’ll let her have her moment first, her head bobbing, her face puffy and hidden, her world terribly different and beautiful.

Congratulations on Being the Most Awesome Lesbian in the Tri-State Area!