Congratulations on Grossly Misrepresenting America's Prisons!

You’re television, and today you’re going to grossly misrepresent America’s prisons.

“They run on internalized cruelty!” you’ll loudly shout, showing a scene of a man raping another man.

The prison system will shrug.

“Our cruelty is actually a lot more insidious and subtly institutionalized,” the prison system will explain to a crowd that is no longer listening to it.  As it explains all of this, the prison system will systematically work to make its current inmates nearly incapable of any future gainful, satisfying employment, greatly increasing their chances of returning to the prison system.

“The prison system doesn’t give a fuck about the safety of inmates!” you’ll scream at the top of your lungs while showing jump cuts of brutal prison murders.

The prison system will chuckle.

“We actually work hard to keep our inmates healthy, so we can continue collecting money off of their slow burning misery for as long as possible.  We don’t make money from corpses, and they add to paperwork, which we hate,” the prison system will respond with a wave of its hand.  Then it’ll send a prisoner who reportedly has a hit out on him into isolation for an extended period of time, until people have forgotten what said prisoner even looked like.

“The prison system is corrupt!” you’ll scream at a collection of assenting young white men, while showcasing a guard bringing drugs into prison to distribute to inmates in return for sexual favors and money from the outside.

“Yes,” the prison system will say, “corrupt that way.”  As they finish that sentence they’ll gently place another piece of paper on top of their budgetary statements, which detail staggering profits and the minimal costs of maintaining the health and well being of its wards.

You (television) and the prison system will just stare at each other for a good long while after that.  You’ll be happy because you’ll be getting attention, and the prison system will be happy because people won’t realize what the actual problems it has are, which will keep the prison system nice and lucrative.

After a length awkward pause, the porn industry will pip up its voice.

“I think the prison system is kind of sexy,” a small subsection of pornography will tentatively posit.

You (television) and the prison system will both nod in agreement, leaving porn to showcase the way that the prison system and fucking people overlap in the most positive way possible.

Congratulations on Grossly Misrepresenting America’s Prisons!