Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Congratulations Jewish Werewolf!



You’ve been at this a long time, struggling to pay bills and get skills, but today, most joyous of days, is going to be the day when you finally complete rabbinical school.

We’d like to claim that we know just went on during your “rabbi final” as we’ve been informed it’s called, but really we don’t have a fucking clue.  We assume it was pretty great, since Jews are renowned partiers.  We can’t see anything inside of any rabbinical schools thanks to a special “Jewish time field” that rabbis, at some point in their training, learn to project in order to prevent any kind of prognostication invading their private sacred spaces.

We do know that, later that night, after leaving the rabbinical ceremony, you’ll crane your neck and howl at the light of the full moon before briefly breakdancing.  Since you’re a werewolf, that’s kind of your thing, but most jobs frown upon that kind of behavior.

But the Jewish faith, concerned with losing young Jews to the “hip” religion of Scientology, are trying to change their image.  And as an extreme, breakdancing werewolf, you’re the perfect message delivery system for a new kind of Jew: a Jew who isn’t afraid to dance in public.

Also, you look fucking adorable with those little curly things coming down from behind your ears.

We’re still not sure what those are called.

Congratulations Jewish Werewolf!

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