Congratulations on Burrowing Into Her Brain!

You know what? Chicks are great! That’s why we love getting laid so much, right bro? But everyone has to develop their own technique, because everyone’s got something different to work with. Hot people, for example, can just talk to someone briefly and not say anything interesting and they’ll get pussy like you wouldn’t believe. Nice, unattractive people can talk to people for a long time and maybe, if they prove themselves funny enough and if the person has finished having sex with enough vapid attractive people, they can get themselves some of that puss. Ugly people who aren’t nice have to pretend to be interesting, and so on and so forth.

But you’ve got a unique situation. You’re a brain parasite who falls in love with beautiful human women and you’re not ashamed of it. But the ladies don’t go for you. What’s a brain parasite to do?

We’ll tell you what. Today you’re gonna slip your way inside a lovely lady’s drink and wait for her to sip it down. Then you’ll use your parasite pincers to latch on to the roof of her mouth (you’re roughly the size of a shrimp, which is kind of huge for a brain parasite, but as we established earlier you’re extremely weird). Once you’re in place you’ll start secreting a powerful narcotic compound, which will distract her as you burrow into the roof of her mouth and into her brain.

Once you reach the base of her brain stem you’ll lash your weird little tendrils around it and start sending her nerve impulses that make her feel super horny and make her want to go home right away. She’ll slam her drink down and shout her goodbyes to her friends then drive home at unsafe speeds. Once she gets there you’ll send a chemical signal to her brain telling her that she should take a very long, very deep nap.

At this point she’ll pass out.

Once she’s unconscious you’ll crawl out of the hole you made in the roof of her mouth and down to her crotch, where you’ll fiddle with her belt for a few minutes before you get it off, unbutton her pants and crawl right up inside her vagina.

You’ll settle in there, feeling the texture of the walls of her pussy, the slippery, pleasant sensation of touching them. Then you’ll start masturbating furiously.

You’ll finish in a little under a minute. Then you’ll crawl out and leave her there unsatisfied, essentially date raped with a hole leading into her brain, making every man on earth look incredibly good by comparison.

Congratulations on Burrowing Into Her Brain!