Saturday, March 26, 2011

Congratulations, You Make Us Vomit!

Oh god.

Sorry, it’s hard to even look at you. We were going to go into detail as to just how this happened, how you managed to fuck your life up so hard and so thoroughly that you ended up getting your face fucked up so bad. Or how you managed to survive with those injuries, how the state wouldn’t allow you to receive proper medical attention or how your parents had died so many years ago in that tragic meth accident, so even they couldn’t spot you the money to get those fissures repaired, those warts removed and those ants exterminated.

But it’s really hard to concentrate when…oh jesus, is it supposed to do that? Oh god, sorry. We’ve got to go. Seriously. Take some pictures, though, and post them online. We’re pretty sure you can get some money or, barring that, get laid by someone who likes freakshows. And maybe the taste of their own bile.

Congratulations, You Make Us Vomit!

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