You were in a car accident about two years ago. You'd just caught your wife cheating on you
and, naturally, you sped away back to your apartment to back all your shit and
leave her cheating ass. In your
vindictive rush to action, however, you made one crucial mistake: you ran a red
light and ended up T-boned, driver side.
Your car was, mostly, uninjured.
You were extremely injured.
You landed in a coma which, paired with a solid array of
broken bones and ruptured organs, made you pathetic enough for your wife to
forget what a dick you were and take pity on you. She'll begin dutifully attending to your
needs, washing you on days when the hospital staff can't manage to, splitting
her time between work as a high powered lawyer (she always was the breadwinner)
and doting wife. She'll wait by your
side, praying every day that you'll awake, and for two years, she'll be true to
you, truer than she ever was before your accident.
You won't know any of this, of course. You'll feel a sort of warmy love-thing
radiating off of something beyond the veil of the coma, but you spent your life
as a bit of a cold-hearted dickhead, so you won't let it take hold. So today, when you wake up and find your wife
next to you, eyes wide and welling with tears in the middle of the night, when
you hear her say "honey?" in a heartbreakingly tender voice, more
tender than you'll ever have heard before, you'll react the way you would've on
the day you crashed your car.
You'll call her a whore.
It'll be a serious effort on your part - your voice will be
atrophied for years of disuse - but you'll manage, beginning with the huh
sound, drawn out, almost like a gasp, followed by the orrrrrrr, escaping you like
the air leaving a balloon.
Your wife will leave your bedside immediately and, in a
single instant, remember why she started cheating on you in the first place.
The event will be used against you in divorce proceedings.
Congratulations on Regaining the Power of Speech!
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