Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Congratulations on Giving Her Willow Bark Tea!



When she asks you what's in it, you'll tell her "It's all natural" and she, in her lovely trusting way, will take you at face value on it.  She'll believe that you actually know what the fuck you're talking about.  It'll be her mistake.

When she starts drinking the tea, she'll nod up at you thankfully at first.  Then she'll cough - a gentle, iffy thing, almost like the tea tastes terrible, but you know that it'll be sweet, possibly oversweetened.  As her coughs grow more and more violent, she'll grab her throat, gasping, wheezing.  You'll try to force more tea into her mouth, but she'll push you away, fingers scrabbling a word out in the dirt on the ground:

Aspirin.

"Oh, yeah," you'll tell her as her eyes begin to swell and redden.  "Aspirin's all natural."

As she dies, you'll see something in her eyes, a sort of pure, animal hate that you never thought you'd ever actually experience.  You'll feel sort of touched that someone could hate you that much.  You'll also feel like she should've let you know about her allergy instead of just asking what's in what you're giving her.  I mean, seriously, who does that?

Congratulations on Giving Her Willow Bark Tea!

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