Congratulations Vegan Dickhead!

After the world ended and the farm industrial complex that supplies most of the processed shit vegans eat collapsed, it started to get really, really hard to stay meat byproduct free.  You had to resort to eating grass and fruit and, after the Rape Bandits cleared out your orchard in what can only be described as a "torture orgy," finding fresh fruit became nigh impossible.

So you did what you could, subsisting on a diet of dirt, which you are pretty sure animals haven't walked on, and leaves, most of which give you terrible diarrhea.  You spend most of your days lightheaded and stumbling and most of your nights shivering wordlessly, unable to sleep from the pain in your belly.

All that changes today!

Today you're going to meet an intrepid band of survivors who will be on the run from some cannibals. They'll have some jerky on them and, after they offer it to you, you'll ask them where it comes from.

"Deer," the grizzled leader will respond.

You'll make a tisking sound against your teeth and then launch into a lengthy diatribe on the fundamental immorality of eating meat, and how as survivors, they've sacrificed their humanity in order to eke out a few more precious months of life.

The leader will respond by shooting you in both knee caps and leaving you on the trail for the cannibals to find, in the hope that they'll give up their pursuit once they have full bellies.  As they walk away you'll shout after them:

"I'm still a better person than you!"

They won't respond.

Congratulations Vegan Dickhead!