Congratulations on Ruining Balderdash for Everyone!

Balderdash is arguably the best party game ever.  It’s an opportunity for you to show how smart you are without necessarily actually knowing anything and it’s the only chance most of us will ever have to fuck the quirky blonde co-worker we secretly lust after but have serious problems talking to.

But every once in a while a fuckwit comes along and ruins the whole thing for everyone because he can’t stand the thought of “losing at a party game.”

Today that fuckwit is you.

You’re going to be playing Balderdash in a bar with some friends, but instead of actually enjoying yourself you’re going to use an ingenious text to speech application (that someone else made) to find out what the definitions of various words are using your smartphone.

At first, people will think you’re really smart.  But after you mispronounce every word that you read off, as well as most of the words in your friends definitions, they’ll realize something is up.

“Do you have some kind of mental problems?” Sarah will ask.  You’ll shrug.

“Maybe you’re Rainmanny?” Dom  will inquire.  You’ll shrug again.

“Or you’re using your phone to find out what the definitions of words are, ruining a party game for everyone involved,” Maria will note after her and the rest of your “friends” hold you and down take your phone away from you.

They’ll summarily take you out into a parking lot and beat you with phone books until they’re exhausted, which is actually the punishment for cheating outlined in the Balderdash rule book.  Then they’ll go back inside and talk about how much they loved Balderdash before you fucked it up for all of them forever.

Congratulations on Ruining Balderdash for Everyone!