Congratulations on Having Dry Sex with that Heron!

When you see her from your car window you won’t be able to resist her charms.  You’ll pull over to the side of the road and exit your car, heart pounding with trepidation.  As you creep through the rushes near her the only sound you’ll hear yourself make will the blood rushing through your ears.  You won’t even breathe, for fear of alerting her.

When you reach her, you’ll wrap your hands around her neck and exhale, lips burbling with the passage of air.  She won’t tense or move.  She’ll remain still, head turning slightly to take you in before it turns back to staring at the horizon.

You’ll take this gesture as approval and begin rubbing yourself against her, the harsh fabric of denim colliding with her feathers will create a sensation unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before.  It will take less than a minute for you to reach orgasm.  You’ll moan horribly into the night and then lean forward and murmur into her ear.

“Thank you.”

You’ll let go your grip from her neck and sag a little on your feet, still knee deep in water.  She won’t make a sound in return.  She’ll just walk away for around thirty feet before twitching her tail feathers becomingly and beginning an elegant, loping run that leads into trailing flight, guiding her out of your sight.

It will be at this point that you will realize what you have done.  You’ll immediately return to your car in shame, informing no one of these events, hoping to take them to your grave.

Congratulations on Having Dry Sex with that Heron!