Congratulations Leather Jacket!

We’d like to believe that the Fonz is more than just the sum of his parts.  That he’s a legendary creature of sorts, a paragon of human capacity and virtue.  He’s not ascribed to a single value set or ethos.  He’s not a paragon of religious virtue.  He’s a singularly human creature, possessed of sexual machismo and an internalized ethos that we can generally agree is both righteous, without adhering to social morays, and possessed of remarkable charisma, the kind we’d all love to have so we could get laid all the time like whoa.

What we don’t realize, in general, is that the Fonz was actually just the sum of one of his parts: his jacket.  His jacket gave him all his energy and power.  It made him what he is.

And you are that jacket.

So today you have the power to get anyone, anyone you want, laid.  Super duper double or even triple laid, depending on the country and the weather.

Please, use this power wisely.  Tomorrow you’ll be back in the Smithsonian, harmlessly encased in glass, and your actions today could, no lie, end the world today if they’re misused.

Congratulations Leather Jacket!