Saturday, June 21, 2014

Congratulations Punk Rock Barista!



When dude orders a coffee, you'll be all like "WHATEVER!"  But then, when he hands you the money and gives you a quick, curt nod, you'll be all like "Chill bro."  Then you'll give him the coffee and tell him to have a nice day.

And that'll be the only thing of interest that happens to you today.

Your band practice for your experimental avant noise synth groove fuck porn tart soup nazi core fart wallet romp unit movement band will be tedious and uneventful, and will never result in you playing a show together, ever.  Your relationship with your heroin addicted boyfriend will be raw, pulsing cliché, and when it ends poorly, it'll surprise no one, not even you.  When you drink a bunch of PBR and fall asleep on the couch while watching old French cartoons, it will still be wholly uninteresting.

Tomorrow, your day will be even less marked, but today, your brief break from irony, your brief act of humanity, beyond your postured, marketably sexy, approachable, and countercultural appearance, beyond your occupational position of visibility, will be the only thing of merit you do this week.  Tomorrow, you'll be a shitty barista again.  Tomorrow, you'll go back to acting like anyone who can't help you get a record deal or drugs simply isn't worth your time.

But today, for a few minutes, you'll have been a scrap of a person.  Relish this memory; treasure it when you're called to judge yourself.

Congratulations Punk Rock Barista!

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