Monday, March 1, 2010

Congratulations on Meeting the New Love of Your Life!

Today anyone, and I do mean anyone, who licks a frozen pole anywhere in American will find their true love. I’ll give you a few minutes to finish giggling over our use of the world “pole.”

Done, then?

As we were saying, on this special day the poles of America will align to bring together any two people who pay homage to them. This offers extends not only to the perpetually single and psychotically lonely. Married men and women and gay married women and men are also subject to this capricious event.

So unless you want to meet the one you’ve always wanted but never known the name of keep your tongue away from that pole. To everyone else I say Congratulations on Meeting the New Love of Your Life!

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