It’ll be less a vortegaunt and more a plush vortegaunt toy as sold on Valve’s merchandise store. And you’ll less have sex with it and more rub your penis against it until you ejaculate. And it won’t be consensual either. If the vortegaunt could speak it would be screaming rape at the top of its lungs. But you’re lonely and too tired to meet women and it’s around and remember the horrible thing its kind did at Black Mesa? It deserved this.
Oh boy, did it deserve this.
Congratulations on Having Sex With a Vortegaunt!
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