Wilkinson, you motherfucker!
In just one week you've landed the big account, fucked your high school
sweetheart, broken her heart, fucked someone who's still in college, broken her
heart, quit your job, founded your own company, sold your company to a massive
conglomerate for enough money to retire for life, and started dating an age
appropriate woman. It's been a really,
really busy week for you, but we don't have to tell you that, Wilkinson!
Instead, we're going to tell you what you're going to do
this Saturday.
You're going to wake up around 10 AM, later than usual, take
a shower for a little longer than usual, smoke a cigarette with your morning
coffee on your balcony, then walk your dog.
When you get back in you'll have a message on your answering machine
from the age appropriate woman you're dating.
She'll want to know if you want to hang out.
You should really call her back and say yes. You'll have a great time.
Enjoy your weekend, Wilkinson, you son of a bitch!
Congratulations Wilkinson!
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