Thursday, January 9, 2014

Congratulations Photoshop Expert!



When you finish Photoshopping the picture of you high fiving Larry Bird you'll show it to your bestie right away.  He'll shake his head and frown.

"That clearly isn't you."

"What do you mean?" you'll ask.

He'll point out that the person in the picture was originally black, and that you're Asian.  He'll then go on to illustrate the serious difference in height between the person in the original picture and you - the dude in the picture will be as tall as Larry Bird, whereas you'll be just above five feet.  He'll also mention that he just watched you alter the image in Photoshop over the course of the last half hour.

You'll respond the same way you always do when he shoots you down: you'll flip the table your lap top is on over and try to punch him.  But your friend, your tall, black friend who once met Larry Bird, will be a lot more physically imposing than you.  He'll just hold you off with one hand while you swipe your arms at him.  He'll catch your laptop (he's a natural athlete, which is part of how he got to meet your idol, Larry Bird) and hold it away from you to make sure it doesn't get damaged.

After you've wiped at him for long enough to get it out of your system, mostly, he'll sigh.

"Ready to calm down?" he'll ask.

You'll nod, angrily, and consider writing an email asking for your money back for those Photoshop classes you took down at the Y.

Congratulations Photoshop Expert!

No comments: