Congratulations on Getting Her to Lez Out!

By the time you call for the check, she’ll be visibly repulsed.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she’ll ask before taking an overlong sip of her Scorpion Bowl through a straw.  She’ll slurp heinously, but you’ll maintain your leer.  You won’t be able to crack then, not if you want to pull this off, and you’ll be so close.

“Nothing, cunt,” you’ll spit back while staring at her chest and eating popcorn, flecks of which will fly into her clothing and catch in her cleavage.  She’ll brush herself off, but you’ll make it clear that the gesture visibly arouses you, knocking your hard dick (thanks Viagra) against the underside of the table audibly.

“Fuck you dude,” she’ll mumble as she stumbles up from the table and, grumbling, tries to stalk away.  She won’t get more than two steps before she tumbles, well, really more crashes, yes, crashes into your friend Stella, who will be sitting a short distance away.

Stella will hold the young woman steady as she rises to her feet to look into her eyes and ask:

“Are you okay?”

The girl will nod, visibly inebriated, before falling on Stella’s shoulder and weeping openly.

“Fuggin’ guys,” the girl will slur, half into Stella’s shoulder, half into her boobs.  Stella will be smiling as she strokes the young woman’s hair.

“I know, they suck, right?”  Stella will wink at you over your former date’s head.  You’ll give her a quick thumbs up before the two of you make a vulgar gesture demonstrating cunnilingus at the same time.  The drunk young woman will be too far gone to know what the two of you are doing.

Congratulations on Getting Her to Lez Out!