Congratulations on Earning Your Science Dad's Approval!

Your real dad died years ago.  Usually that means you turn to the pole or, barring that, take up performance art, but you chose a different path.

You decided to focus on cell biology research.

We’d love to say that you dreamed of one day curing cancer or unlocking a process that can undo or reverse aging, but really, you just though the head of the bio department had a very fatherly looking beard and decided you wanted to spend more time around him.

But because your decision to pursue him was mostly beard oriented, you’ve been a pretty disappointing to the chair of your department for a while now.  Like, super disappointing.  Almost lost your funding, barely capable of working an electron microscope disappointing.  Not all is lost, however.  Last night, you forgot to put away some bacterial samples.  Huge mistake, basically a firing offense, but it’s all good because you’re going to arrive at the office before anyone else this morning and just move the corrupted samples on to phase testing.  You’ll introduce them into cultures of stage IV lymphoma cells and bam.  Dead lymphoma cells, healthy cancer cells.

“Uhhh,” you’ll mumble as you test the samples again with the same result.  You won’t be capable of reproducing or synthesizing the samples, since you generated them by leaving them in a contaminated environment.  But that’s a problem for someone else some other day.  Today you’re just going to relish in the moment that you wave your boss over, show him your results and receiving a nice pat on the back from him before he says “Good job.”  It’ll make your impending unemployment sting that much less.

Congratulations on Earning Your Science Dad’s Approval!