Congratulations New Duke of Hazzard!

The old Duke boys were a zany pair of no-goodnicks who moonshined up a storm in the hills of one of the gayer southern states.  It was a rootin’ tootin’ good time investigation of what it meant to be a smuggler in the present day.

You’ve decided to re-imagine the legend of the Dukes of Hazzard in your own way.  Rather than run moonshine around your somewhat homo-erotic/incestuous southern county, you’re going to start cooking and selling meth out of a trailer.

It’ll go pretty well until the cops discover that you’re making meth and arrive to try and take down your meth lab.  Being a proud, southern gentleman you’ll defend your meth lab to the death, firing guns sporadically at your adversaries and telling them time and time again that “this is just like the Dukes of Hazzard.”

At one point a police sniper will shoot you in the throat, effectively ending the shootout.  You’ll have killed four officers and wounded three others by this point.  As the police unkindly haul you out of your trailer and lay you on the ground where they’ll wait for you to bleed out, you’ll beckon for one of them to come close and entreat him to your last words.

“This would’ve made a bitchin’ end to the Dukes a’ Hazzard show,” you’ll rasp.

Then you’ll die as he looks at you, unsure of what has transpired.

Congratulations New Duke of Hazzard!