Every full moon it’s the same story. Your limbs twist, claws sprout from your
fingertips and a flood of fair-weather friends burst into your apartment to buy
E.
“Why don’t you sell E when you’re not a werewolf?” your
roommate will ask. You’ll shrug and make
a wolfie sound.
“It makes it really tough to live here for three nights of
the month,” your other roommate will shout at you from the couch. The first roommate will nod in agreement. You’ll howl in disapproval.
“It’s true. And you’re
kind of an asshole when your drug-buying friends are over.”
This last part will ring true, and even as a werewolf it’ll
give you pause. No one wants to be the
shitty roommate, and when you’re confronted with it it’s tough to ignore what
you’ve been feeling yourself for a long while.
But because you’re a werewolf you’ll have trouble processing
your emotions. So instead of selling E
at a different location or giving up selling E while you’re a werewolf (which
is impossible because of the specific nature of your werewolf curse) you’ll
just go into a rage and rip the arms off of anyone who comes to your apartment
to buy E. This will make Planet Earth
really tough for you and your roommates to watch, but it will also bind you all
together in an unprecedented way since getting rid of all those bodies will be
a real team effort. Also, you’ll all do
a bunch of E, since you won’t be selling it any more and the wizard that makes
it for you won’t stop creating it until the three days have passed so it’s
gotta go somewhere!
Congratulations Lovable Werewolf!
