Today you’re a Mexican businessman and like all Mexican businessmen you perform all your business while wearing a Luchadore mask and screaming at everyone around you. You also say Mehico instead of Mexico.
“WE WILL NOT RETAIN OUR POSITION AS THE LEADING TELECOMMUNICATIONS COMPANY IN MEHICO IF WE DO NOT AGGRESSIVELY MARKET IN A MORE INTERNATIONAL FASHION!” you’ll shout to your board of directors, who will also dressed in Luchadore masks. They’ll nodly gravely in response and then all of you will drink coffee, which we’re pretty sure most businessmen do in general.
We’d love to tell you more about what you do in general, but we’re now out of information about Mexico, businessmen and business in general. Quick! Fill out a spreadsheet!
Congratulations Mexican Businessman!
Showing posts with label Mexican wrestling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mexican wrestling. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Monday, October 11, 2010
Congratulations on Being Foiled!
Today you’re a white collar criminal who manufactures financial frauds like most people brew coffee: frequently and with little consistency. You’re good at it overall though. Even if all your frauds aren’t billion dollar ideas they’re still pretty solid examples of how to ruin the middle class in America while padding your own pockets.
So there’s no reason for you to be financially insolvent, ever. Spare one crucial flaw in your plan: you like to do all your evil financiering with a luchador mask on.
“Why the mask?” your hooker will ask.
“To hide my face from the public!” you’ll say before chortling as she pounds you in the ass.
“Isn’t it kind of obvious?” your protégé will ask as the two of you are pounded in the ass by hookers while having weed smoke blown in your faces by young Thai boys.
“The better to hide in plain sight!” you’ll wink before turning over so that you can make eye contact with your hooker, who will sort of just look sad.
“That’s incredibly stupid,” the FBI agent will say as he places handcuffs upon you so that he can lead you out of your office while your co-workers look on, quite literally caught red-handed, wearing a luchador mask while cooking the books.
“You’ll never take me alive, copper!” you’ll shout over your shoulder back at him. This will make him purposefully bang your head into a door while he leads you out, giving him a glimmer of satisfaction in the work he has achieved for the day.
At the court hearing, however, they’ll refuse to let you wear the mask. It will sit a few feet away, at an evidence table, but it might as well be on another planet. You’ll be naked, without the greatest source of your confidence. You’ll feel like a cuckold.
Congratulations on Being Foiled!
So there’s no reason for you to be financially insolvent, ever. Spare one crucial flaw in your plan: you like to do all your evil financiering with a luchador mask on.
“Why the mask?” your hooker will ask.
“To hide my face from the public!” you’ll say before chortling as she pounds you in the ass.
“Isn’t it kind of obvious?” your protégé will ask as the two of you are pounded in the ass by hookers while having weed smoke blown in your faces by young Thai boys.
“The better to hide in plain sight!” you’ll wink before turning over so that you can make eye contact with your hooker, who will sort of just look sad.
“That’s incredibly stupid,” the FBI agent will say as he places handcuffs upon you so that he can lead you out of your office while your co-workers look on, quite literally caught red-handed, wearing a luchador mask while cooking the books.
“You’ll never take me alive, copper!” you’ll shout over your shoulder back at him. This will make him purposefully bang your head into a door while he leads you out, giving him a glimmer of satisfaction in the work he has achieved for the day.
At the court hearing, however, they’ll refuse to let you wear the mask. It will sit a few feet away, at an evidence table, but it might as well be on another planet. You’ll be naked, without the greatest source of your confidence. You’ll feel like a cuckold.
Congratulations on Being Foiled!
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