You’re going to spit take all over Dick Cheney during a Q & A session sponsored by your student government.
It’s not going to be televised, because Cheney still has his people. It’s not even going to show up on Youtube, because six young men at the University of Iowa are going to die from “gun related complications” in their beds in various discrete incidents over the next four days, preventing the dissemination of any incriminating material.
But you’re going to spit all over Dick Cheney when he responds to your question about shooting a “friend” of his in the face. You’re going to spit take so severely that he’s going to decide that the only way to make it right is to murder you and buy the company that sells the green tea you were drinking and burn the warehouse where they store all that green tea to the ground.
Your school’s student government will also be disbanded, and everyone you’ve ever loved, every hand you’ve ever shaken, every ear that a word of you has fallen upon, will be made no more.
On the upside, the Indian reservation adjacent to the town you grew up in is going to grow substantially during the next week, so that’s pretty cool! Those guys get good news so rarely.
Congratulations on Your Amazing Spit Take!
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