Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Congratulations on Making a Deal with That Squirrel!

After that squirrel shot your captor, the bizarre and unsuccessful serial killer who was so upset about the low quality of the pasta-like product your factory produced, you thought you were done for. But then you remember high school science (your teacher made a lot of shit up) and remembered that squirrels have the unique ability among rodents to reason.

“Look squirrel,” you’ll begin.

Then the squirrel will panic at the sound of your voice and shoot you in the stomach with its gun, which it will be surprisingly adept at using by now.

“This might be considered irony,” you’ll mumble to yourself as you lose consciousness, killed by the hubris that made you think you could pass a product that only met 80% of your company’s requirements through to the market and suffer no repercussions. May hell’s fires greet you.

Congratulations on Making a Deal with That Squirrel!

No comments: