You’re a grease monster and today you’ll form in the fry-o-lator at McDonalds when a young man named Reggie (short for Reginald) doesn’t clean out the grease trap. You’ll bubble up from the depths of the machine and reach your arm out, destroying Reggie’s face in a swell of hot grease.
“AHHH!” Reggie will scream.
You’ll wordlessly gargle as you roll through the store slightly more quickly than the obese patrons, roiling over them one by one. They’ll blister and burn before becoming part of you, adding to your filthy, staining mass. You’ll rumble with joy as you roll throughout the shop, finding new hideous items to add to your mass.
This will be the start of a great adventure across America as you terrorize her many obese citizens. That is, until President Obama resolves this whole situation when he gets back to work on Monday.
Congratulations Grease Monster!
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