Addiction is a terrible beast. Every addiction is a little different. Crack addicts and meth addicts have a wide
array of complications that lead to permanent, truly horrifying damage. Heroin addicts inevitably become models. Alcoholism often leads to writing a terrible
novel that people later go on to praise.
But you’ve got the worst and most misunderstood addiction of
them all: you’re a video game addict.
Whether it’s coins, experience points or just plain old “frags”
as the kids call them, one you pop, you just can’t stop…playing video games,
that is.
And the health complications are catching up with you. You’re gaining weight and your skin is
terrible. Not from the video games, per
sec, but from the snacks you consume while you play them, and the masturbating
you do when you’re finished with them.
Also, all the lonely crying you do, while not necessarily bad for your
skin or related to your weight, isn’t really that productive in terms of
correcting said loneliness, or even helping you manage your emotions.
If anyone cared about you, today’s the day they’d stage an
intervention. But your mom has long
since given up on you, and your friends are all online, so the only way they’d
be able to stage an intervention with you would be via Skype, which probably
wouldn’t be the most productive way to keep you from spending all your god damn
time on the computer.
But no one actually wants to stop you, or at least no one
with the wherewithal to do so wants to stop you. So today you’re just going to spend about
eight hours playing World of Warcraft.
It’ll be a pretty standard day for you, all things considered.
Congratulations Video Game Addict!
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